Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Feeling Just A Lil' Down...

Yup, feeling down. Okie, not that down.. just a teeny weeny down. I guess the fact that I'm not feeling well.. and haven't been feeling well the past 5 days definitely contributed to this. Especially the intermittent stinging pain in my right ear and the throbbing pain at the back of the right side of my head.

Well, my family and closest would well testify to how I would avoid going to the doctor. Usually when I fall sick, I would kinda self-medicate.. since it's always the usual stuff.. fever, headache, flu. I would then shove some panadol tablets, flu medicine down my own throat as and when I remember, much to their chagrin.. heheh, and they would go nag-nag-nag again.. hahah. But this time, this pain in my head was bad enough such that I actually went to the doc on my own accord not once, but twice.. yesterday and today. I surprised even myself.

Actually I feel bad about going to another doc today, having only seen one yesterday. It kinda implies my lack-of-confidence in the first doc. Sigh, maybe that is indeed the case. Perhaps I was expecting some miracle, you know.. maybe feel no pain in my ear anymore after taking the prescribed medicine for three times. Perhaps my expectation was too high. Anyway, the damage is done.. and now I shall finish the second doc's prescribed medicine before going back to finish the first doc's. Sounds funny I guess.. but I think that's one way to relieve my guilt towards the first doc. Besides, both docs are actually chinese physicians.. so there shouldn't be any harm in taking the meds in this manner. I would of course not recommend the same for a western prescription. Don't ask me why, I guess they just don't work the same.

Talking about expectations.. I made a decision today while driving today. I decided to stop having a crush on this person I've been having a crush on for the past one month or so. Okie, before I go any further, let me just state that I'm currently happily attached. So when I started having a crush on this person, I did probe within myself to find out exactly what was going on. It was determined that I was curious and wanted to know this person better, I definitely like her, but liking this person doesn't mean anything. Bottomline was, I wanted to be friends with this person. And yes, I've been keeping my partner updated about my feelings.


I scored a breakthrough about two weeks ago when thru' some quick thinking and clever scheming (at no one's expense of course), I conduced a perfect opportunity to spend some time alone together with her and indeed, the time spent led to some quality getting-to-know-each-other moments. Now, don't go off the rail.. there wasn't any hanky-panky involved.. we just had a really nice chat. So much so that where previously I was just one of them within my clique of colleagues, after that chat, I was confident that I definitely stood out amongst my colleagues now. We had become friends.

The following week, we carried on where we left off. I casually bumped into this person at my office and she confirmed my contact number with me. We also grabbed a quick bite together. Over the course of the next few days, we had some nice moments chatting on our phones, and she actually invited my partner and I over to her new place at the end of the month.. and I was pleased, to say the least. But I guess I forgot to keep my expectations in check. 'Cos in the past few days, there wasn't any more phone calls.. not since we had to cancel our impromptu arrangement to meet up last Friday. A phone call from me on Monday afternoon ended shortly in under ten seconds.. not at all eventful.. depressing even. I decided then to lay off and not call her anymore.. I don't wanna make her feel like I'm being a pest.. or seem desperate. I'm not sure which is worse, actually.

Well, we met again today during a company briefing session that we were both involved in. She approached me during the break and we made small talk and joked around. Everything seemed good. But somehow I still didn't feel very good, there was still that tinge of hoping for something more. Subconsciously, I wanted us to be close friends, good friends. So I guess along that line I was expecting more.. and I wasn't getting the more that I wanted. Inwardly, I must admit I was feeling disappointed for the past few days. I guess maybe I was hoping she'll call yesterday or something and we could perhaps try to meet for lunch or study together, but that didn't happen.. and driving along the highway today, I thought things thru' a bit and decided that enough was enough.. I should stop hoping, stop expecting.. and move on. Stop crushing.. lay the crush to rest. I've done enough to lead us to become friends, perhaps now I should just leave things to nature.

I won't go into details here what I've done to build the friendship between us, but honestly I'm gonna give myself a pat on the back for the efforts I had put in, considering what a lazy and laid-back character I am. So, I will play it cool from now on. Nonetheless, I have to admit that I'm feeling kinda sad over this decision I've made. I won't say my efforts have been wasted, they weren't.. but somehow the results sort of fell short I guess. Sigh.

I will be seeing her again this Friday.. we'll be attending one full day of lessons together, followed by a horrible exam (actually that's how we met, 3 full days of lessons every month). I shall not expect anything.. no expectations, no disappointments. That should be the way I guess.

Now I just need to pick myself up, buck up and start studying so I can pass this horrible monster called "exam" this Friday. Gawd, hate it. Love the lessons, hate the exams. Life. Luck, I need lots of it.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

It Rained Glass Bits Yesterday...

Yeah, I was showered with bits of shattered glass last nite. I was at a friend's house in the evening, and as we were getting ready to leave, I decided to be nice and bring the glasses and cups into the kitchen instead of merely leavin them on the dining table. Bad move.

Jemmy's home was beautifully decorated.. the living room was lined with nice parquet tiles.. the dining area was created upon a platform and designed japanese-style such that the table was built-in in the middle and everyone merely sat down on the higher platform floor.. there was no need for chairs at all. The kitchen was separated from the dining area by a glass wall and glass door (think office-style), kinda open-concept, you could see exactly what was on either side.

So, with 2 glasses in my right hand, my left hand went to the door handle to pull the glass panel open. And in split seconds where I didn't even have time to breathe, there was a deafening roar of glass smashing, and the door that was right in front of me before crumbled to pieces right before my eyes. Well, actually it rained on me. The self-destruction was swift, one moment my hand was on the door handle, the next, my hand was grabbing thin air, and shattered glass pieces. And I was bleeding.....



My friends and Jemmy of course, witneses to the whole incident/accident.. said I was actually shining from a distance, hahahah. Glasses bits were in my hair, on my hands, on my clothes, underneath my feet. I guess I must look a glamorous mess. Miraculously, my face did not suffer any cuts; I escaped disfigurement. Actually, I was pretty fortunate, I only suffered some minor cuts on my left hand around the wrist area and the palm.. plus about 4 cuts on my right foot - sole and inner ankle area. The cut suffered on my right inner ankle was considerably the most stubborn and deepest, bleeding profusely enough to soak up one and a half wet tissues. This, plus the cut on my right big toe successfully stained my new sandals, hahahah.

Anyway, after spending some forty minutes apologising profusely for the damage I caused and cleaning myself and the home up, everyone finally managed to leave for home. Well, my wounds were still bleeding when I got home, and I did feel uncomfortable about the suspected foreign bodies that might have entered my body.. so I dropped by the A&E Department of Raffles Hospital, nearest my home. I barely had to wait, they cleaned up my wounds pretty quickly, gave me an anti-tetanus jab (ATT), wrote me a medical leave for 1 day and sent me on my way.

Some twenty hours later, the one thing that's causing me the most pain is from the ATT jab.. hahah. Oh, and not forgetting this throbbing pain I've been feeling on the back of the right side of my head since three days ago. Friends have told me it's migraine (oh my, I've never experienced migraine before and I certainly don't want to have it now or anytime soon), but the chinese physician I consulted today tells me that it's actually due to heatiness in my body.. and well, it kinda makes sense. I'm currently running a fever, feeling kinda delirious.. with a throbbing pain at the back of my head and a buzzing pain in my right ear.. and of course, the pain from my wounds.

Oh, and did I mention I have an exam this Friday? Bless me...


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Sunday, July 09, 2006

Justice Done To Amelie.. Finally!!!


Amelie posing for the world to see her Venus Rosewater Dish
(Photo taken from AP Photo/Anja Niedringhaus)

I'm simply delirious with joy now. Amelie Mauresmo, reigning World No. 1 on the women's tennis circuit, and my most favorite player (overtaking Venus Williams on my favorites list during these 2 weeks of Wimbledon), has defeated soundly Justine Henin-Hardenne for her 1st Wimbledon title and her 2nd Grand Slam title of the year!!! *super-big grin from ear to ear*

Momo has finally done it!!! I'm so so happy right now that I'm simply at a loss for words. I'm so happy for Momo.. finally she has shut her critics up, finally she has defeated Justine Henin-Hardenne properly to clinch her 2nd Grand Slam title, and cemented further her No. 1 ranking. In what seems to be a re-match of the Australian Open Women's Singles final this year where Henin-Hardenne retired from the match (from supposed stomach discomforts) trailing 0-2 in the second and down the first set (6-1), Momo continued the fine play that she displayed during the Australian Open final (but was most unfortunately left hanging by Henin-Hardenne's retirement from the match) into the Wimbledon final this year.

Okay, before I get carried away, let me correct myself. It wasn't all that smooth-sailing for Momo right from the word "go". Momo lost the first set quickly and easily enough to Henin-Hardenne 2-6 within 31 minutes.. and had me breaking out in cold sweat and pacing up and down my hall nervously. But she quickly regrouped in the 2nd set.. and came back strongly to level at 6-3. Momo upped her level of play in the final deciding set.. and in the final game when Momo served for the match.. she made no mistakes.. served out 2 beautiful aces and put up a fine and graceful display to bring home the Venus Rosewater Dish - Wimbledon trophy!!!!

What a beautiful day... :D