I can't help it. I was checking my emails.. yet another thing I shouldn't be doing as well.. and I came across this email from DailyOM. I've subscribed to their daily emails ever since I told you guys I came across this article from them that I previously mentioned in my earlier blog posting (but it actually seems like I'm receiving more than one email per day from them).. and so there's always an article of wisdom of sorts sitting in my inbox, compliments from them.
Anyway, yet another article from them caught my eye today. It's titled "The Dance of Intimacy".. beautiful title.. and talks about the dynamics of a long-term relationship. You will be reading this article below 'cos it's really the main reason why I'm still typing away and still doing what I'm not supposed to do.. (hahah, but let's not go back there again).
My best friend is kind of in a terrible rut now in her marriage.. and things are not improving. Hubby and her are doing the cordial act.. talking about the weather and exchanging mere civilities. There are obvious issues between them that they should iron out.. but both are either in denial mode or no one has the energy to lift up the couch and turn out the dust and dirt. In a nutshell, both of them were in my mind when I was reading the article earlier.. and I've already decided to email them a copy.. hoping, just hoping it might help.
Actually, nothing in the article is new.. not to me, and I assume, not to any of you folks as well. But as all-too-intelligent forgetful mortal beings, ever so often, we all tend not to see the obvious.. and many of us have the tendency to go round in circles and complicate matters as well. And then, many a times, certain stuff have to be repeated to us over and over in order to get the message across and implanted in our heads and hearts. And to me, this article seems to be doing just all these.
To my best friend and her hubby... and sigh, back to my books. My boring life.
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The Dance Of Intimacy
Coming Back To Center In A Relationship
Anyone in a long-term relationship knows that the dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving apart. Early in a relationship, intense periods of closeness are important in order to establish the ground of a new union. Just as a sapling needs a lot more attention than a full-grown tree, budding relationships demand time and attention if they are to fully take root. Once they become more established, the individuals in the union begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives that matter, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural and healthy. Yet, if a long-term relationship is to last, turning towards one another recurrently, with the same curiosity, attention, and nurturance of earlier times, is essential.
In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose track of our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. We may have the best intentions when we think about how nice it would be to surprise our partner with a gift or establish a weekly date night. Yet somehow, life gets in the way. We may think that our love is strong enough to survive without attention. Yet even mature trees need water and care if they are to thrive.
One of the best ways to nourish a relationship is through communication. If you feel that a distance has grown between you and your partner, you may be able to bridge the gap by sharing how you feel. Do your best to avoid blame and regret. Focus instead on the positive, which is the fact that you want to grow closer together. Sometimes, just acknowledging that there is distance between you has the effect of bringing the relationship into balance. In other cases, more intense effort and attention may be required. You may want to set aside time to talk and come up with solutions together. Remember to have compassion for each other. You're in the same boat together and trying to maintain the right balance of space and togetherness to keep your relationship healthy and thriving. Express faith and confidence in each other, and enjoy the slow dance of intimacy that can resume between the two of you.
(Article from DailyOM)
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