Q: Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
A: Because "below 18" not allowed lah!
*******
Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes into an electrical appliances shop.
Ah Beng: "Do you have a color TV?"
Salesgirl: "Yes!"
Ah Beng: "Give me a green one, please."
*******
Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job. He supplied the information for the columns on "Name", "Age", "Address", etc. Then he comes to the column "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question. After much thought, he writes "Yes"...
*******
Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Ah Beng: "What is that shiny object?"
Salesgirl: "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Beng: "What does it do?"
Salesgirl: "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
Ah Beng: "I'll buy it!"
The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermos flask.
Boss: "What is that shiny object?"
Ah Beng: "It's a thermos flask."
Boss: "What does it do?"
Ah Beng: "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
Boss: "What do you have in it?"
Ah Beng: "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice-cream."
*******
After making photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
*******
Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.
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Q: Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
A: Because he can't find the number "11" (eleven) on the phone.
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Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. He then encountered some problems, and decided to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng: "I press the F1 key for help, but it's been over half an hour and still no one came to help me?!?!"
*******
Ah Beng went to his doctor with two ears red. The doctor asked him what happened to his ears.
Ah Beng answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang lah.. but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear lah.."
"Oh dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But... what happened to the other ear?"
Ah Beng replied, "That stupid dumbo called back again lah!!"
*******
Ah Beng is on the phone with a long-distance telephone operator.
Ah Beng: "Could you please tell me the time difference between Taipei and Las Vegas?"
Operator: "Just a minute..."
Ah Beng: "Thank you!" and puts down the phone.
*******
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he's been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me only 5 months to do it," Ah Beng brags.
"5 months? That's too long," the friend exclaims.
"You're a fool!" Ah Beng replies. "See this box, it's written for 4-7 years!"
*******
At a bar in New York, the man sitting next to Ah Beng tells the bartender, "Johnnie Walker - single." and his companion says, "Jack Daniels - single."
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "And you, sir?"
Ah Beng replies, "Tan Ah Beng, married lah!"
*******
tags : jokers | singaporean | ah beng | laughs | silly |
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